Happy 1 Month Birthday Mason, Logan, and James!

I can't believe my babies are 1 month old already! They're getting so big! (They're still tiny compared to most babies but HUGE compared to where they started!) All 3 boys are over 3 lbs. now! Mason is 3 lbs. 5 oz.; Logan is 3 lbs. 4 oz.; and James is 3 lbs. 3 oz. They are all still on the ventilator (Mason on the jet; Logan and James on the conventional) so the doctors are considering a steroid (methylprednisone) to help their lungs mature so they can get off the ventilator. And all 3 babies are getting milk in their bellies. As of today, Mason gets 3 ml every 3 hours, Logan gets 5 ml every 3 hours, and James gets 12 ml every 3 hours.They are all at a point now where they will increase the amount every day until they are getting all of their nutrition from milk rather than from IV fluids.

Here's a picture of all 3 babies from today, their 1 month birthday:

Mason

Logan

James

They are so much bigger than a month ago! Look at the comparisons:

Mason April 30 (my favorite picture still!)

Logan April 30

James April 30

We've learned a lot this month! Some things we've learned this month:

• The babies are in charge . . . Seriously 
• The babies have attitudes when they don't get their way. Especially James. 
• Babies like morphine just like adults. At least my babies do. See Logan's picture below if you don't believe me!
• The babies "talk" to each other with their alarms. So when one of their alarms goes off, usually another one is right behind him. Mason and Logan do it the most. But don't feel bad for James. He gets in on the action too. 
• The babies compete with each other. And not necessarily for good. It seems like they compete for worst baby more often than for best baby. Probably because they get more attention when the act up. For example, yesterday Logan had a rough day and got lots of attention. James was being good most of the day. Until he wanted some attention. He decided to hold his breath when his nurse tried to turn him over. The ventilator can't get him the air he needs when he does this so his vitals all dropped. Really low. And he got lots of attention. Little stinker. 
• Neonatologists are my favorite kind of doctor. They save babies' lives. So they're like living guardian angels for premature babies. How can you top that?
• NICU nurses are pretty awesome too. Especially the ones who love my babies like I do.
• Breast pumping is hard work. And I'm not good at it. And it's stressful. 
• It's hard to get anything accomplished in the 2-3 hour windows between breast pumping.
• I have completely lost the ability to multi-task. I start each day with plans to go to the hospital for a few hours then go to work for a few hours. This has worked out one day in the last two weeks. Today I didn't get to work at all.
• The hospital is like a time warp. This is related to the last few things.
• We've also learned lots of medical terms. We ask lots and lots of questions. Apparently more than most people. We're like fake doctors now. I wouldn't trust us with your kids though. And I hope the doctors don't get tired of our questions!
• Doctors, nurses, and everyone else who works in the NICU like our baby names. I can't even count the number of times someone has said "I'm so glad you didn't give them rhyming names!" Ha! I guess that would make their jobs harder!

Here's an update on each baby from the past week:

Mason:

Mason has had a pretty good week. He's been very stable on his ventilator all week. They have weaned him some so he's on pretty low settings now but not low enough to move him from the jet to a conventional ventilator just yet. Mason has developed an infection so the doctors are treating that before they do the steroid (they don't like to do steroids for a baby with an infection). Right now we're waiting for results from his breathing tube and urine cultures to determine exactly what type of infection he has. We should know in the next few days. But they are treating him for a fungal infection now already because they know that much. 

Mason's head ultrasound on Tuesday was better than last week - the swelling of his ventricles has gone down. Yay! Even though this week we got good news, we still won't know the effects of the bleed he had a few weeks ago and the swelling for a year or so. This is pretty hard for me to deal with! Ultrasound day is the hardest for me I think.

Also I got to hold Mason this week finally!! And my best friend Carly got to be here for it! That made it even more special. In case you missed it, I wrote about it here.

Here are a few more pictures of Mason from this week:

I already posted this one but I love it so much! Such a sweet boy!

Logan:

Logan had a pretty good week too. Until yesterday. He was uncomfortable all day yesterday. He was flailing all over his bed, he tried to escape, he was fighting his ventilator, and he required more oxygen and higher settings. At one point he lifted his head completely off the bed and tried to turn it! (Although this is good for most babies, this isn't good for a baby this small, especially one with a breathing tube in his mouth!) Today wasn't much better. They decided that maybe he was mad about being on the jet ventilator still. Apparently a lot of babies start fighting the jet when they are feeling better and are ready to get off that ventilator. So today Logan got what he wanted and got off the jet! He seems much much happier. We're keeping our fingers crossed he can stay off it! 

They ran tests on Logan for a possible infection too. So far he doesn't appear to have anything. As long as Logan's blood cultures stay negative, he may start a steroid to get off the ventilator tomorrow. This will be a 9 day steroid (similar to the blister packs they give adults where you take what seems like 20 pills the first day, then decrease every day after that). Some babies can get off the ventilator in just a few days after starting the steroids. I hope Logan is one of those babies!

Logan also stopped peeing again a few days ago. Last week he got a steroid for adrenal insufficiency. It worked and he peed a lot at the beginning. But once the dose was weaned he stopped peeing again. So he's back on that. And he's peeing again. His adrenals should kick in soon. 

Logan's head ultrasound on Tuesday was also better. Yay Logan!

Here are a few more pictures of Logan from this week:

Logan sprawled out (still has favorite position apparently)

This is Logan's mad face. He makes it a lot!

Logan loves morphine. Can you tell? Ha! We'll save this for when he's older for sure!

James:

James had a typical James week. No major issues. He is still on the ventilator but he's on pretty low settings. Unfortunately he won't let the doctors wean his settings. He throws a fit whenever they try! He has a big attitude! And he doesn't like being touched! 

James is progressing well with his feeds. Hopefully he'll get bigger and this will allow him to get off the ventilator without steroids. We'll see I guess. He's very moody!

James got to get out of his bed several times this week. I got to hold him Friday and Saturday and Brian got to hold him Sunday. This is my favorite thing in the whole world! I can't wait until I can hold them whenever I want!

I got to hold sweet James again last weekend!

James's porn star pose. He looks pretty comfortable. Saving this one for when he gets older too!

James with his eyes open yesterday. This was after his major meltdown. He looks pretty sweet here!

Mom and Dad:
Brian and I are still hanging in there. Brian probably better than me! Having 3 babies in the NICU is hard! It's like I worry about one baby, then that baby gets better and another one takes over. And it goes on and on like that. But, I know that they are actually doing really well and they're getting better every day (well not some days but overall better as time goes on).

Sunday night I got the best surprise ever! I had a particularly rough day but when we got home, my friend Carly and her little girl Maddy were at my house. Surprise! I had no idea they were coming. I really needed it though! I needed a friend that day more than anything. I love how things just work out sometimes. Thank you Carly for being here for me!!

Brian and I also celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday. (Actually we went out to dinner Tuesday night). It was nice to get out and do something normal. We went to dinner at a new(ish) restaurant. And I had a glass of wine. It was delicious. I guess there's a reason that moms drink wine! (I already knew that actually).

Thanks again to everyone who has been praying and thinking about us the past month. And thanks especially to everyone who has called, texted, Facebook messaged, etc. Even if we don't always respond we see that you thought about us, we read your comments, and it means the world to us. I promise. So seriously, thanks so much!

Here's one more picture. This is the NICU room where all 3 of our boys live right now. Logan is on the left in bed 3 and Mason is in bed 2. James is actually right behind where Brian took the picture, in bed 6 (directly across from Logan).

Finally! I Got to Hold Mason!!

I thought we would have to wait a little longer. But I was wrong thankfully! Today I finally got to hold little Mason. It was worth the wait too. I can't believe I waited this long! I have been missing out by not holding this sweet little boy until now!!

I didn't plan to hold Mason today. My best friend Carly was in town (a surprise) and my aunt Teresa was here too. I was planning to spend some time with them then go back to the hospital tonight to try and hold James again. See, I thought James was the only baby we could hold right now because Mason and Logan are on the jet ventilator still. And we can only get the babies out once a day because getting them out is a huge ordeal and it's somewhat stressful for the babies. I was talking to Jesse (our awesome nurse practitioner) about the babies and I mentioned that when Mason was ready to get out of his isolette (that's the medical term for their beds) that I really wanted to hold him. No one knew that I hadn't held Mason still. So Jesse made it happen right then! Obviously Jesse is my favorite person ever today. 

Here are a few pictures of me holding sweet Mason:

Mason was so sweet! He laid on my chest and was almost perfectly still and content. Me too! He opened his eyes and looked around for a while at first. Then he went to sleep. I could hold him forever! Like with James and Logan, I didn't want to give him back! I can't wait til they get bigger and I can hold them whenever I want! These are going to be three spoiled babies!!

3 Weeks Old

I can't believe the triplets are 3 weeks old! So old! We've had a very busy week. All 3 boys are at Arkansas Children's Hospital now. Back together again! Yay! It seems like the boys are in competition - and not good competition either. They seem to be competing to see who can do worse some days. We've definitely had more ups and downs this week than the first 2 weeks (it feels like more downs). But we have come to expect this more now. Thier doctor this week (Dr. Miquel) talks to them and gives them goals. Unfortunately they don't listen. But I love that she talks to them!

We had all 3 boys baptized this week. Logan and Mason were baptized last Wednesday before Logan's PDA surgery. James was baptized today. Monsignor Malone was so nice to come to the hospital and baptize them for us! We will have the formal baptism ceremony at the church after they come home.

Mason:

Mr. Mason is doing better (as of today). He fluctuates a lot! He got PIE (pulmonary interstitial emphysema) over the weekend. This is where air escapes from the air sacs in the lungs and goes into the wall of the vessels. I explained it in more detail here. They put him on a jet ventilator. He hated it. But the PIE went away within a day. Yay Mason! Then today his X-ray showed that the PIE was back. So he went back on the jet ventilator. He's doing better on it today than last time. 

Mason got a follow up head ultrasound yesterday. His ventricles are still dilated but they are the same as last week. So the doctors will continue to follow him every week to make sure nothing changes. Because of the swelling that's already there, Mason will be watched for a while (probably at least a year or so). 

Big milestone for Mason this week - he's over 3 lbs.! Today he weighed in at 3 lbs. 0.6 oz. He's still puffy from his surgery and from all the fluids he's getting but we'll take it (and we hope his puffiness goes away soon!)

Here's Mason's 3 week old picture:

Here's a picture of Mason wearing Brian's wedding band on 3 fingers! He's really tiny! I know you can't really tell from the pictures but maybe this will give some perspective.

You can also really see how puffy Mason's face is in this picture! He has a double chin! I never knew a 3 lb. baby could be chubby. Now I know. It will go away though. The doctors and nurses promised me!

Logan:

Logan had a pretty good week . . . Until yesterday. He's a sneaky one. He was acting great but his X-ray yesterday morning showed that, like Mason, he also has PIE now. So he's also on the jet ventilator. And he also hates it!

Logan's head ultrasound came back the same as last week. So his doctor isn't concerned at this point. He'll get another head ultrasound at some point but not weekly like Mason. 

Logan also weighs 3 lbs 0.6 oz. today. He's getting huge! Seriously though he looks exactly the same to me as he has all along (except that he's a little puffy today).

Logan is my quiet, calm baby (as of right now). His nurse today said he doesn't seem to have an attitude like his brothers but she thinks he'll be trouble. Like he'll be being bad but I won't know it. Uh oh! I can't imagine him being bad!

Here's Logan's 3 week picture.

You can also see Logan's staples from his surgery in this picture. This is where they went in to fix his heart. He's still recovering well. And he'll get those staples out soon.

James:

James decided the start misbehaving this week. He's back on the ventilator (just a regular one) but he's already down to very low settings. Hopefully he can come off the ventilator again soon. 

James is being treated for an infection. His doctors think that's why he had to go back in the ventilator after 2 weeks off. He's getting 3 different antibiotics actually because we don't know what type of infection he has. His cultures are all negative so who knows. He's getting better so that's good news. 

James also peed on me today. First time I've been peed on by these guys. And I'm sure it won't be the last time either!

James is still under 3 lbs. but barely. He weighed 2 lbs. 15.6 oz. today. 1 oz. smaller than his brothers. But he seems a lot smaller to me. Probably because he isn't puffy.

Here's James's 3 week picture.

And here's a picture of James in the transport bed before he took his first ambulance ride to Children's to be with his brothers. He's in there I promise!

Addison:

Addison had a good week. But then again, she almost always has a good week. This week was even better though because she had her first dance recital! She loved it. And she did great! Brian did not enjoy the recital as much as Addison though! Good thing we got 3 boys this time!

Mom and Dad:
Brian and I are still trying to get used to our new life, with 3 more kids to worry about. Some days are better than others. And some days I'm just plain emotional. I cried Sunday when James was being put into the transport bed by Angel One (that's the Children's EMT people and they're awesome). Nothing was wrong really but I cried anyways. James's doctor (Dr. Peeples) gave me a hug. She also came to check on us at Children's today and she'll be back as their doctor this weekend. Yay! She's super awesome. I told Brian I wanted her to be my BFF. Brian said no. He ruins all my fun.

Brian and I are both back to work this week. Sort of. I planned to go back to work yesterday and I had hoped to get there around 10 or 11. I got to work at 2:30. I actually worked less than an hour. Today I got to work around 11 but left after only 30 minutes or so. And I didn't make it back. The hospital is a time warp. I'm pretty sure about it. Luckily I have the best job ever. Hopefully I can get into a schedule soon and actually work a few hours a day at least. Everyone, including the doctors, said this is a good idea and that it will help.

We are still getting used to the boys' new home at Children's. Like I said before, it's not as comfortable as UAMS. We don't have private rooms, I have to go to a "lactation room" every 3 hours to pump (and sometimes I have to wait because there are only 4 spots), and we are in the way. With the jet ventilators we can't even sit next to the same baby sometimes.

I am also planning to breast feed the babies (when they are ready) so I have to pump every 3 hours, even during the night. It's not fun and I feel like a milk factory sometimes but it will all be worth it I know. Today we found out that the hospital forgot to store an entire bag of milk when they transported Mason and Logan last week. Luckily I wasn't there when this was discovered and Brian dealt with it. Breast milk is not easy to come by and I've worked really hard for every drop! Unfortunately we lost about 1/3 of what we had as of 2 weeks ago when they transported Mason and Logan to Children's. I know there's nothing wee can do about it, but I'm still not happy.

Clarification to an earlier story:

Remember how I said that Brian left me at the hospital a few weeks ago? If not you can read about it here. Well apparently people have even giving Brian a hard time about it (including Addison). Brian got onto me because I apparently left out an important detail - Brian went to his car and called his cousin (a jeweler) so he could get me some beautiful new earrings shipped to the house. That's when he started to drive home and left me at the hospital. I'm still not mad. And it's still hilarious. But now you know the complete story.

More Ups and Downs

Well it's been a crazy week to say the least! Lots of ups and downs. Life with a NICU baby is a roller coaster. We have 3 NICU babies so we are living a roller coaster times 3!

Mason and Logan both had their PDA ligation surgeries this week - Logan on Wednesday and Mason yesterday (on Thursday). They both did great! The doctor said Logan did better than most babies. Then Mason did better than Logan. So they're overachievers (and they're competitive). I'll take it! 

Here's a picture of both of them after their surgeries. (They look the same as before).

Logan

Mason

Here's a brief update for each baby over the last few days:

Mason:

This poor kid can't catch a break! He did great with his surgery yesterday. In fact, his test results were better after the surgery than before (which isn't typical - usually babies get a little worse before they get better). Well today Mason got worse (maybe from the surgery and maybe not). His X-ray this morning showed that he has PIE (pulmonary interstitial emphysema). It sounds scary doesn't it?!! PIE is basically where air leaks out of the vessels in the lungs and into the walls of the vessels (it looks like bubbles on the X-ray). So they switched him to a new ventilator - a jet ventilator. The jet ventilator is similar to the oscillating ventilator that Logan was on earlier - it gives Mason lots of short breaths. The main difference (that I know of) is that the oscillating ventilator helps the baby exhale while the jet ventilator does not pull air out. The jet ventilator is supposedly perfect for treating PIE. I sure hope so! The doctor says we may see improvement within 12 hours. 

Mason has also started looking more like Logan over the last few days. His hair is turning light blond (and is falling out). Yesterday Brian sent me a picture of Mason and called him Logan. I figured it out but it did take me a minute. I guess only time will tell if they are identical (or look close to the same).

Logan:
Logan has been, well, Logan the last few days. He's just chilling out in his box, enjoying the drugs they gave him for the surgery. He's recovering well and mostly just sleeping. He had his PDA ligation surgery first - on Wednesday - so I was really worried about him that day. Of course he did great! I wasn't nearly as worried when Mason got the same surgery - with the same surgeon - after I saw how well Logan did.

James:
Mr. James decided to start misbehaving this week. That's what the doctors say when a baby doesn't do what they want him to do. James started getting bad results on his blood gas tests so last night the doctors reintubated him. As of right now it seems that James just got tired of breathing on his own. They tested him for infection and redid his echo to see if his PDA had reopened. His results were great - no sign of infection and his PDA has remained closed. So for now he is back on the ventilator and he's just resting. Hopefully he can rest for a few days then get back off the ventilator. He seems to be enjoying it so far. Right after they put the tube in he was laying there sucking on the tube. Maybe he thought they gave him a permanent paci that wouldn't fall out!

While Mason and Logan were getting all the attention this week with their move to Children's Hospital and their surgeries, James got to spend extra time with Nina and Pop. His nurse even let him out of his bed and let Nina and Pop hold him for a few minutes! Fun times for James! Brian and I also made time to go to UAMS to hold James for over an hour each the night before he was reintubated. I'm so glad! He's so sweet. I could just hold him all day long every day! I guess now I'll have to wait a while longer until he gets his ventilator out again.

Our New Home at Arkansas Children's Hospital:
We are slowly getting used to our new home at Arkansas Children's Hospital. It isn't nearly as cozy or comfortable as UAMS. At UAMS the NICU has all private rooms. At Children's we are in a room with 6 babies (eventually half of them will be ours). I feel like I'm always in the way. The good news is that we ended up with the same team of doctors that we had at UAMS. I love our doctors from UAMS so this makes me way more comfortable about the move. I've decided that neonatologists are my favorite type of doctors. Especially ours. Yesterday Dr. Ross spent 45 minutes talking to me about Mason and Logan. Then last night another neonatologist (the one who was there for the delivery) spent about an hour with Brian. These are really special people. I feel really blessed that they are part of our babies' lives (and ours too of course). I hope no one ever needs a neonatologist, but if you do, just know that they are awesome people.

James will join his brothers at Arkansas Children's Hospital sometime this weekend probably. He has been hanging out at UAMS by himself since Mason and Logan were transferred a few days ago. We like UAMS better but because Mason can't go back (because his head needs to be monitored by neurology and neurosurgery specialists) we will go ahead and have James moved over to Children's so they can all be together.

Other than the actual NICU rooms, we really like Children's Hospital. They really cater to families so it's a very warm and welcoming environment. And Addison likes it better too which is great. There's actually a playground on the same floor as the NICU so she can go outside and take a break when we go up there.

2 Weeks Old . . . and Never a Dull Moment

2 weeks old today. We have had a very busy week. And we've learned that they mean it when they say things like "the babies are in charge," "this is a marathon not a sprint," and that we'll take 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

We've had quite a few firsts this week:

- Mason and Logan got a new home today. They were transported to Arkansas Children's Hospital. They both still have open PDAs so they will likely have surgery to close the valve.
- Mason and Logan went outside and took their first ambulance ride today

- Logan and James got my breast milk. James loves it. Logan didn't so as well so he's not getting feeds anymore right now. 

- Addison got to change her first diaper. 

- I already wrote about it but I'll say it again because it's awesome - WE GOT TO HOLD JAMES AND LOGAN!!

Mother's Day was this week too. A few weeks ago when Brian asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day I said "I want to still be pregnant."  That didn't happen as we all know. Needless to say, I was pretty emotional all day. And it was an eventful one. We went and visited the babies before church and everyone was doing well. And Brian had gifts from the triplets at the hospital for me. Pictures that the March of Dimes took last week (I'll upload the rest of the pictures and post some more later this week). 

At church, all 3 boys were listed in the petitions. So I cried. And didn't stop until church was over. I'm not sure why. I think it's because it finally hit me that the boys are so little and that they are sick. But I do know that they are getting the best care possible and that they are in great hands.

Then we had family over for lunch and my family from Memphis came and visited the babies at the hospital. I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with family. 

Then we had a rough night. Our first time really taking a step back. I didn't handle it too well. But I'm much better now. 

Mason:

As of last night, Mason weighed 2 lbs. 14 oz. He probably doesn't really weigh that much though. He has gotten lots of fluids over the last few days plus he just finished a second dose of indomethicin (PDA meds) a few days ago and that makes him retain fluids. 

Mason is stable but has had a rough few days. Sunday evening, his ventilator tube started leaking because it was too small (because he's grown). So they took it out and tried him on the cpap/nasal cannula like James has. The little man tried really hard but he wasn't ready to breathe on his own so they put a bigger ventilator tube in shortly after that. Then he developed another pulmonary hemorrhage (a bleed in his lungs). We were really scared for him all night because he was having such a hard time. And he's so little. Luckily Mason's night nurse Lisa updated us all night. And he got much better. 

This was our first real step backwards. He had been doing so well up until Sunday too. My heart hurt for him. I wish I could take his place. 

We got new EKG and head ultrasound results yesterday. The EKG showed what we already suspected - his PDA is still open and it's still moderate. Mason also has some hypertension in his right ventricle which is causing extra pressure on one side of his heart. This is not a huge concern but they can't do the PDA ligation surgery until this gets better. He will probably have the PDA ligation surgery but probably not until later this week or early next week. His head ultrasound showed that he still has a level 2 (possibly level 3) bleed but the ventricles are starting to dilate. The doctors at Children's will monitor this also. This is the main reason they went ahead and transferred Mason today. He got another head ultrasound today and the neurology people at Children's will follow him closely. If this stays the same or gets better, they probably won't need to do anything. His vital signs and everything else are great at this point so the concern is not too high. And, remember, the brain bleed is not that abnormal in a baby this size and age.

Here's a few pictures of Mason from this week:

This is Mason in the transport bed ready for his first outing. He's wearing his seatbelt of course.

Logan:
Logan has had a pretty easy week. He weighed 2 lbs. 11 oz. last night.

He has just been lounging in his box for the most part. Like Mason, he went to Arkansas Children's Hospital today too. His PDA is basically the same as before - moderate. He hasn't had any of the issues that Mason has had this week but they still need to close his PDA. He will likely have the PDA ligation surgery tomorrow. I was pretty upset about the surgery at first but now I think I've come to terms with it. I know that the surgery will make them better. And it's a pretty common procedure. They do the surgery in the NICU rather than taking the babies to the operating room. And the surgery only takes about 15 minutes.

Here's a few pictures of Logan from this week:

This is Logan's favorite position - all sprawled out with his tongue out and his arms out to the side.

Logan this morning at UAMS

Logan at ACH after the transport. He's still pretty happy

James 

James has had a good week. He got out of his box and we got to hold him 3 times! He's so sweet! He's also 2 lbs. 11 oz. like Logan.

James started getting breast milk in his feeding tube this week and he loves it. He's doing great so far. He's been getting 1.5 ml (about 1/3 of a teaspoon) every 3 hours. He'll start getting more sometime over the next few days. 

James is still breathing with the cpap nasal cannula. He's doing great on the cpap. His doctors tried to wean him down to just a nasal cannula but he didn't like that at all. And because the babies are in charge, they switched him back to the cpap.

James is still at UAMS for now. He will probably go to Children's sometime soon to be with his brothers. He just didn't need to go today because he  isn't sick like Mason and Logan at this point.

Here's a few pictures of James:

James loves his paci!

Addison:

Addison also had a good week. 

Addison is doing much better seeing her brothers. She was having trouble dealing with her brothers being in NICU. Brian and I had decided that we would bring her to the hospital less so she wouldn't have to see her brothers hooked up to all the machines. Then I talked to the social worker and sibling support lady and they both said bring Addison to see the babies more (not less). So we talked with each baby's nurse and brought her up to the hospital a few nights ago. All 3 babies left a note for Addison. She loved them! 

We also got to the hospital just in time for James's hands on so Addison got to help. She took his temperature, checked his blood pressure, and listened to his heartbeat.

Then the next day she got to change his diaper. She said "it was awesome!" I expect that she won't be saying that for too long.

Then on Saturday Addison had a small birthday party. Her birthday is actually June 5 but I scheduled her party in May so we could (hopefully) have her party before the babies came. Oops! It was actually perfect timing. She had a blast and we had a day just for Addison. The babies also left her a birthday card:

Tonight we took Addison up to Children's Hospital to see Mason and Logan in their new home. I think she will probably like Children's better because there is more for her to do there.

I apologize for the super long post! I'll try to post an update sometime in the next few days instead of waiting a whole week this time!

Again thanks so much for the prayers, happy thoughts, and sweet messages. We really appreciate everyone!

Logan's Turn!!

Big day today too! We got to hold Logan! And I was right . . . It was just as special as holding James for the first time was yesterday.

Logan is the sweetest cuddliest baby ever! He is still on his ventilator so he was somewhat sedated. I'm not sure if this made a difference or not though. He just cuddled up on my chest and went to sleep. 

I thought Logan would be the last baby we would get to hold because he was having such a hard time breathing. He was definitely the hardest for me to see because he just looked so sad and so sick, especially on the oscillator. He's made a remarkable improvement over the past few days. Today he looks a million times better than he did last week! In fact, the doctors are weaning him off the ventilator and are considering extubating (removing the breathing tube) and switching him to a nasal cannula/cpap like James. He also pooped 2 times today. (Poop is a big deal for NICU babies). Yay Logan!

He's not bald I promise! He just has really really really light blond hair! Did I mention how sweet he is?

Here's some pictures of us holding Logan. In case you were wondering, yes, the picture of me holding Logan is a selfie. That's right . . . Logan's first selfie was today. He's a pro.

Brian thinks Logan is smaller than James after holding both of them. I'm not sure. Logan is definitely calmer! Like yesterday, I didn't want to give him back.

Now we just need to hold sweet little Mason! Maybe soon . . . .

An Indescribable Feeling

Today was a good day. Topped off by the best thing ever . . . We got to hold James!! During rounds this afternoon, Dr. Miguel asked if we had held him yet. When we said no she immediately went to his nurse and made it happen.

I can't even describe what it meant to me or how I felt. There are no words. All I can say is that it felt amazing. I was extremely nervous at first because he's so tiny. But it just felt natural, like he belonged in my arms. I didn't cry somehow (crazy hormones make me cry when I shouldn't but not when it's ok). But despite my lack of tears, this was probably the the most emotional moment so far. (I know we'll have many many more, but for now, this is it). He is such a tiny little miracle. We held him skin to skin, which is why we are wearing hospital gowns. This is good for him and for me (and Brian too).

He just cuddled up to my chest and looked up at me from time to time. So sweet!

Brian got to hold James too! He was so happy and so proud.

We didn't want to give James back tonight! I'm even more in love than I was before. If that's even possible. 

I can't wait until I can hold him again. And until I can hold his brothers. I know it will be just as special for each baby.