An Indescribable Feeling

Today was a good day. Topped off by the best thing ever . . . We got to hold James!! During rounds this afternoon, Dr. Miguel asked if we had held him yet. When we said no she immediately went to his nurse and made it happen.

I can't even describe what it meant to me or how I felt. There are no words. All I can say is that it felt amazing. I was extremely nervous at first because he's so tiny. But it just felt natural, like he belonged in my arms. I didn't cry somehow (crazy hormones make me cry when I shouldn't but not when it's ok). But despite my lack of tears, this was probably the the most emotional moment so far. (I know we'll have many many more, but for now, this is it). He is such a tiny little miracle. We held him skin to skin, which is why we are wearing hospital gowns. This is good for him and for me (and Brian too).

He just cuddled up to my chest and looked up at me from time to time. So sweet!

Brian got to hold James too! He was so happy and so proud.

We didn't want to give James back tonight! I'm even more in love than I was before. If that's even possible. 

I can't wait until I can hold him again. And until I can hold his brothers. I know it will be just as special for each baby.