Monday, January 18, 2016

Why I'm So Behind on My Blog

Ok so contrary to the title of this post, I don't have any big reason for being behind. I just am. That's the reason. But in case anyone needs more details, here's a few reasons I'm behind (in life in general really). I WILL CATCH UP. Someday. Someday I will post about Christmas. And New Years. And the last 3 months. Someday I'll do it. First I should probably finish putting up my Christmas decorations (sorry neighbors!). I put up the inside ones this weekend but my outside decorations are still up (but not on so a little more acceptable).

This right here is the story of my life in a nutshell:
The big reason I'm behind is simply that I have too many kids. Seriously. 4 kids. That's too many. I always said I wouldn't have a bunch of kids like my parents did. Well . . . joke's on me I guess. 

Exhibit 1: Addison. She's pretty self-sufficient, which is great. She does her homework, she gets good grades, she gets herself ready for school (except for casual days. then she tries to wear leggings as pants and I have to make her change). But then there's dance. WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?!?!?! She has dance 4 days a week! Yesterday, I got to spent my entire afternoon and part of my night at dress rehearsal. Like 6 hours! And on top of that, I had to make her look like this:
Yep. I had to put full grown up makeup on my 11 year old. Black eyeliner. Top and bottom. AND black eyeshadow. I don't even wear black eyeshadow. Who even knew that was a thing? (I did a good job though right?!) And with the smoky eye makeup, you also get this sassy attitude.
That's 1 of 4 costumes this season. And they aren't cheap. So I have no time AND no money. Being a parent is fun. (It is. I'm only joking. Mostly.)

And although she's almost the perfect child, she does things sometimes that makes me question her sanity, as well as my own. This past weekend, I spent over 30 minutes getting a knot out of her shorts. OVER 30 MINUTES! Seriously! Why in the world did she need to tie 35 knots in this pair of shorts is beyond comprehension. And on top of the knot situation, I also have to learn all of the new slang so I can even understand her half the time. I do know that when she said her eyeliner was "on fleek" that was a good thing. And I was proud. Both of the fact that I knew what that meant (sort of) and that I did an amazing job making my 11 year old look like she was headed to the club.

Exhibits 2, 3, and 4: Mason, Logan and James. They're in to EVERYTHING. And that's not even an understatement. They are basically running. And they know how to open doors (I think maybe only James knows how to open doors but he shares the benefit of this skill with the others). This is what happens when I try to do anything in the bathroom:
Sometimes I just need to get ready for work so we can get out the door so I let them play with whatever they find that they can't hurt themselves with. And sometimes that's a bag of empty medicine syringes. I have 3 toddlers. 3 TODDLERS. That's insanity.
They breach every security measure we have in the house:
They want and need things. Like food. So sometimes they get snack on the floor. In bowls of course because I try to keep things civilized (ignore the no shirts  picture above).
 Sometimes I just give up and give them the whole container.
They can talk too. But only kinda. James will say and sign help but only when I ask him if he needs help. Mason will bring me something and say "more" which means "guess what I want mom?! I hope you can figure it out before I have a meltdown!" It's a good thing they're cute. And they look like little men which makes it even harder to resist. Luckily they are easily entertained by simple things like empty water bottles.
Luckily they haven't been sick since November basically. And by basically not sick I mean not in the hospital sick. They've had hand, foot and mouth disease. Which was NOT fun. And they had to stay home for a week (Brian stayed home with them because I can't miss work!). And Logan has had an impossible-to-get-rid-of rash on his face for over a month. Luckily I think it's under control now. Of course after 5 doctor visits including 2 dermatologist appointments and a visit to ACH on Christmas Eve! This was today at the dermatologist. So cute in his little man coat. Why was he crying? Because I wanted to take his picture instead of giving him my phone.
One HUGE benefit of having kids is that you get to dress them however you want. See those Converse Chuck Taylors? Omg I'm so in love.

And don't think Mason is the good one because I haven't posted his picture yet. He only acts sweet and innocent. Don't let him fool you.
 He's sitting there like see I'm just here reading my book. But really he most likely just threw away his sippy cup, some mega blocks and Little People, and maybe James's shoe (because James ALWAYS takes one off. And it's always the left one). Mason is the bad one. And he knows it. He says no and calls himself a bad baby. LOL! Maybe we need to stop saying that to him?

This is more like the real Mason. (Actually this is his cheese face but he looks crazy).
Ok so on top of the fact that I have too many kids, I also have a job so I don't even get to spend as much time with this crazy people as I would like. I have to get up every day and go to work (sometimes on the weekends too). And I have to function like an adult. And present myself in a professional manner. One of my New Years resolutions (which I haven't had time to post yet) was to "dress like a lawyer" Monday through Thursday so that's helping.  I had a trial last week which I did A LOT of work for. I didn't even see my kids for a few days. Luckily Brian is an amazing dad (see Brian I do still say nice things about you) so I am 100% ok leaving him in charge. (ok not 100% ok because I have control issues but I know everything is under control and he's on top of it all). And I really do love what I do. Most days. Can anyone ask for more? Probably not.

AND because I'm a little crazy I still cook ahead for the boys and freeze stuff. When possible I do this on a weekend day. That hasn't been possible lately though so I've been doing a little here and there when I can. Like tonight. Tonight I'm sitting here blogging while I'm waiting for meatball muffins, turkey meatballs, and sweet potato fries to cool down so I can bag them up and throw them in the freezer. And I had to mop because I apparently don't know how to use Pam properly and Brian basically almost killed me when he saw the floor that he just mopped today covered in grease. Oops! I fixed it though. So we're all good. (And for the record I made dinner for the big people today too).

And I also put the boys toys up in a certain order. Every. Single. Night. Books go in the same order. All parts are matched with the right toys. And the flashcards are put in the right box. And in abc order. Again, I have control issues. But those flashcards are in order. Brian even leaves them out for me if I'm not home when he puts the toys up. That's true love y'all :)

So how do I do it? With the help of Brian, my friends, and an occasional glass of wine. Cheers y'all!
I'll catch up on everything else soon I promise!